Chris

Name: Chris
Age: 17
Location: Seminole, Florida

Why he's a star:

• He showers with your mom.
  
• Chris is a player. I stumbled upon one of his profiles, and nearly used it because it's that good, but the pictures were too small. The main reason I didn't use him, though, was because he said he was looking for a relationship, but then he kind of broke my heart when I saw that he was already in a relationship. Imagine my surprise when I saw his handsome face again. This time his photos were big enough to use and he was single (there is a God).
• He's packin' huge, ladies and gentlemen. Not only is he the white Wilt Chamberlain, but in his profile where he's listed as being in a relationship, he also lets us know that he's a shy kisser, and an energizer bunny in bed. Nope, he's not overcompensating at all. My man Chris is honest. I mean, I read that and think, "I gosta get me a one-way plane ticket to Seminole, FL."
• His single profile has more surveys than a 14-year-old girl's. One survey, in particular, reveals a lot about him; he has self deprecating charm, and when it comes to his sexuality, homeboy is clearly figuring things out. When asked if he thought he looked good he gives the ole, "Nah, but everyone says I'm good looking." When asked if he's kissed someone of the opposite sex, he fires back with, "of course." How dare you ask that? He's a man's man. Chris gets down all day every day. He luuurves the ladies, especially Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Christina Aguilera and Cher...in concert.
  

The Pictures

Get to know Chirs, or Negro Thunder as he likes to call himself, as a taken man, or as a single guy.

Justin

Name: Justin
Age: 18
Location: Lexington, Kentucky

Why he's a star:

• He blends his rough edge with a genuine offer of friendship. "IMMA CRIP SO FUKK ALL YALL BLOODZ.... AND IF U HAVE YAHOO U CAN HIT ME UP" Aww, Justin.
• He (predictably) has one of those obnoxious surveys posted. In it he lists his favorite store as "Spencerz." You know what kind of people shop at Spencer's Gift Shop. Go ahead, imagine all of the psychedelic posters that come alive when he flips on his black light. But, really, where else are you going to get a bean bag with the Insane Clown Posse on it? Nowhere.
• Perhaps my favorite part of his survey is when he answers "career" under the "future" section with: "GO INTO DA ARMY." Well, at least he understands his options.

This is the future generation, folks. Ya feelz meh?

The Pictures:

holla at a brotha