Name: DanielKevin (one boring name would have sufficed, thankyouverymuch)
Age: 22
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina
Why he's a star:
- He's God's gift to men, and if you can't handle that, then step the eff away, bitch. Also if, you're fat and ugly step waaaay the eff away. DannyK, or Danny T. Kane as I like to call him, don't share no air with no fatties.
- He has this intoxicating delusion of grandeur that can lure gas out of your asshole. I have no clue what that means, but he actually thinks that the length of his hair is a controversial topic. Like people are begging him not to grow his hair out (probably because they know it looks like shit when it's long), and he's like, "No, haters. I need to do what I feel like doing, so let me go, and just listen."
- After talking about how awesome he is, and how people want to know what it's like to be him, he's all, "I'm a visual manager at forever21." Yeah, Danny T. Kane, I'm sure people are dying to know more about your luxurious life dressing mannequins and hanging "75% off of all sequined & bedazzled tops" signs in your store's window. For realz, DKnotY, when someone sees you steaming the season's hottest black and silver polyester trousers and asks you for a size, do you snap your fingers and tell them to be gone? Better yet, tell me your decal application techniques. f
- Oy vey! Enough with the pictures of yourself already, Danny T. It's difficult to tell if the overabundance of pictures of himself NOT in his photo section is result of narcissism, or simply because he has no representation, and he's praying Becky from "The Agency" will somehow stumble upon his profile and declare, "Bloo'y hell! This ki' is f*ckin' magic. I've go'uh put him on me, list...blah, blah, blah Mathias Lauridsen, blah, blah, that super hot guy from the J.Crew catalogues. Buttah!" There is one picture where he pretends to put a gun to his head. I say do it! I keed, Danny T. Take pills, that way you won't mess up your face.
The Pictures
DenialKevin has many interests, like, you know himself. If you too are interested in him, there are PLENTY of pictures you can look at right here. But people, people, don't say anything about his hair. He'll sic his Forever21 posse on you, and that's bound to get ugly.
