Damien

Name: Damien
Age: 30
Location: Los Angeles, California

Why He's A Star:

• "10K friends... now what" Yes. Exactly. Now what? I don't know? Now... do the dishes? Now...feed the cat? Now... take two steps forward, take two steps back cause opposites attract? Damn, Damien, I don't know. Now what?! He actually has over 13 thousand friends as of last count. NOWWWWWWW What?!?!?!

• He posts pictures of himself with celebrities. Of course, this makes him cool. Except... one picture is with Kevin Federline. Does that count as a celebrity? It's actually pretty funny because Damien bears a striking resemblance to K-Fed. It's like life imitating art, or art imitating art, of fart imitating fart.

• One last thing. He lives in Los Angeles which means he's obviously gay and obviously wants to be an actor, but what kills me is that his myspace address is "straightact." Damien baby, two things: 1.) If you really came off as a straight man, you wouldn't need to announce it. 2.) You said it best; it's an act. You will never actually be straight, so just keep on acting like you are. Come to think of it, this will probably be your only legitimate acting role. Besides cheap porn.
  

If gay white men acting like straight black men is your forte, hit him up.
And Damien, even though you'll never actually be a star, you'll always be a MySpace star to us.